Spacebound
by Balviet123
Summary: A CidxShera fic.  Post-Meteor.  Warnings?  Cid's language, and some possibly depressing moments.  Partial songfic to Eminem's Spacebound.  R&R?
1. Chapter 1

Spacebound

A curious wind swept over the horizon, leaving him utterly dazed at the sight before him.

He would finally touch the stars again. But this time, not out of the need to save the Planet. This time because the leaders of what seemed like the world were gone, and he was free to reach above the land of men and kiss the moon on her pale, gentle lips that blemished her face in a way that brought forth an unearthly attraction.

The winds were just right for this. This time, nobody would be able to stop him.

Nobody except her.

That woman who called off from a distance, the tone growing more and more panicked as it came closer.

She had stopped him before. Once. When he had been so foolish as to—

No. When he had seen she was important to him.

No. That wasn't right either.

So what _did _he mean? She certainly wasn't special, but she had had something that made him cancel the launch.

Something she still had.

Something that made him cringe and glare every time she entered a room. Something that sent a chill down his back.

Something that made him think that he, as Yuffie had so lovingly put it, a bow-legged old man like him could possibly feel something other than hatred.

There she was. He saw her running towards him in the reflection of the rocket. _His _rocket.

A hand was placed on his shoulder. "Captain, there you are."

Rather than shoving it away, he nodded. "Yes. Here I am."

"Are you anxious?"

A pause. Then an explosion, like he was a nuclear blast and that pause was when it clicked, rendering the world still.

"Of course fucking not! I'm Cid fucking Highwind, you lousy piece of shit!" And so the flames began, transforming into a wildfire as easily as the Black Materia had changed the Temple of the Ancients into a handheld-sized structure.

She merely nodded, absorbing the abuse as always. She knew this was an act; Cid always sent his ego into the last escape pod when forced into a conversation. He was careful to upkeep this persona. The persona of an angry old man. It was just one of those things he couldn't break. He had the willpower—he managed to fight against Sephiroth and win with ease. There was no reason why he couldn't stop this.

"I understand, Captain. I'm sorry for thinking you'd be anxious."

He turned and stared at her in disbelief. She…she thought that? No, she just always said that, like she were some weird robot invented by Shin-Ra.

Shaking his head, he snarled. "Goddammit, Shera! Think for yourself sometimes!"

"Yes—"

"Shera!" He yelled, blue eyes narrowing as he raised a hand and smacked her with as much force as he could summon up. "What did I _just_—"

He stopped. There was something about how she had taken the blow without a fight; without flinching. Something about how her brown eyes flashed at him, as though words that could pack more pain and spirit than Meteor itself could harness raged within them, forbidden from being unleashed.

"Shera, I—"

"No!" She fumed, rubbing where she had been struck and getting close to him, glaring up. "You… I've tried to be decent ever since you've worked for Shin-Ra, Captain. No, not 'Captain'. _Cid._ And every day, I tried to keep you safe. If you were about to treat me like this…if I knew, I would have told you to fire up the engines and vaporize me. Because living with you is hell. You think going through a few times with Cloud and the others was so bad. You _volunteered _to that, Cid! People _helped _you! You weren't stuck playing the part of a battered _slave wife _to a man who you weren't wed to because he didn't care. You weren't called 'Goddammit Cid'! Nobody pushed you around and held your life over your head." Furiously, she thrust her clipboard at him and tore the package of cigarettes from the straps of his goggles, crushing the cardboard-like substance in her hands. "Find a new doll. I'm done."

She took off, refusing to stare back or even submit to tears. That would probably give him the victory. Let him live his fantasy. She wouldn't play the part anymore.


	2. Chapter 2

"Shera?" Cid called out into the home, looking around at the cleaned space. "Are you here? I…" He couldn't release the words. Was he really sorry? The words could be completed in his head, but not through his voice.

Nobody answered his calls.

Groaning, he forced himself to sit in the chair he always sat in, staring into space. The nylon on his goggles was pressing too hard into his skull—he tore them off and threw the pair of eye protectors down.

"I only started wearing those goddamn things because of her. Because she warned the wind would 'hurt my eyes'." He scowled, thick lines crossing his forehead. "All because of her. The pain is especially because of her."

Tapping the crushed box of cigarettes—"cancer sticks", as Shera had once called them against the table, Cid held his face in his hands.

"I don't need her." The white scarf was next to go, followed by the heavy old jacket he wore everywhere. "I'll be up in space in a few days! Why would I need to worry about someone as useless as her? All she does it sit around and—"

He stopped again. She _didn't _just sit around and do nothing. She worked as much as he did. She didn't constantly whine like Scarlet or any other woman he'd met. She did as she was demanded and was so positive about it—never thinking too much about it or speaking a word that would offend the Captain. She would never do such a thing.

The silence was overbearing; so much had happened since that punk-haired kid named Cloud had gotten near that busted old rocket that had once teetered over the town, keeping a firm grasp of fear on the denizens of Rocket Town.

"She wouldn't have left…" He reassured himself, a part of him feeling relief from the idea. "Where else does she have? She has nothing…" He trailed off, his mind creating its own sick ending. "…_because I stole it from her._"

"No!" He yelled, slamming his fists down onto the table, biting his lip to wrench him from that thought. "Strife's the one who's fucked up in the head! Him and Sephiroth! Not me! I'm Cid fucking Highwind! I'm sane and normal!"

Yet, there was a side that not only begged to differ, but did so shamelessly. It was here his mind betrayed him.

"But Strife protected everyone. And Sephiroth had some good intentions; he just went about it the wrong way. I'm…I haven't done shit except complain and kill all those goddamn fucking people. I'm not much different than any of those other Shin-Ra bastards. They had a purpose. What do I have? A fucking rocket."

He glared down at the clipboard Shera had practically stabbed into his stomach.

Flipping through some pages, he sighed and released a few groans. That number caught his eye.

_Journey time: Five years._

Five years away from Rocket Town. Five years away from everything except his crew.

"Damn." Was all he could say as he rose from the chair, leaving the discarded garments littering the table.


	3. Chapter 3

The day was here, Shera still gone and five long years in space facing him, but he couldn't delay any longer. If the rocket didn't go up today, it would be a repeat of the past year, minus Shera and the adventure facing him.

The day was a dream—he stared at everything with a very blank, dull expression. He didn't react to anything; there was no need to. How could he be excited when someone had left him and he had five years away from the place he could apologize at?

Engines fired up as Cid closed his eyes and took in a deep breath.

"Good-bye, Shera." His words were swallowed by the roar of the fires that blazed as the rocket lifted off the ground.

The world began to disappear beneath him, but who was he to care? Nobody would miss him or long for his return.

An alert went off—he looked and groaned as soon as he heard it.

Someone was in the engine room.

Without hesitation, he hit the emergency stop button, cancelling the launch. He would prove Shera wrong. She couldn't get that right. She couldn't win two battles.

His crew stared at him with confusion, and he stared back at the panel. No alert had gone off.

"I'm going fucking crazy." He mumbled before getting up and running back home. "Nobody was there. I'm trapped down here because I'm fucking crazy."

Once inside, he went to his place at the table, just as he did now every day. "I'm crazy. Just like Strife and the others. I don't belong here."

"You're right about that. You should have gone up in that rocket."

_That voice!_ Cid looked around and allowed himself to grin at the sight of Shera standing there.

"Where'd you go?" He demanded, standing up and sending the chair falling backwards to the floor below. "You were gone…forever! I thought you were… I thought you left for good!"

"And I thought you would have left for five years in that rocket. Why did you stop it?" Her eyes were sharp; calculating. One wrong word and she'd leave again. He could tell that much.

"I went crazy." He admitted, sighing. "I saw the goddamn alert that said someone was in the engine room and stopped the launch." Lowering his voice, he continued his confession. "I couldn't let you win."

She stepped forward, a smile in her eyes. "You stopped the launch? Because it said someone was still in danger? I thought you would have kept it going."

"No. I can't kill someone. I'm not Sephiroth or Hojo or any of those fucked up shitheads that were part of Shin-Ra. I'm a person, not some freaky experiment. So I proved it."

"Perhaps I was wrong." Shera smiled fully now, stepping towards the man. "I thought you were willing to do anything to get to space. I'm glad you stayed, though. Five years is a long time."

Forbidding his mind to force him into anything, he stepped toward the woman and stroked where he had struck her before.

"I'm sorry." He whispered, smiling. "I never…"

"Captain…" She took his hand and smiled back, getting closer and resting her head on his chest; something she would never have done before. "It's fine."

The two remained like that, together and sharing touches as though they were a statue.


End file.
